Tag Archives: gratitude

Yesterday’s blessings

Posted on by myownashram

UPDATED: added some photos. Thanks to Regan House Photo for her permission.

The resting doesn’t come easy for me. And now my nearly 4 year old is a whiny sick mess. But yesterday….

Yesterday was Priest Point Park (aptly named, no?). Just wild enough to please my soul. I sat in the trees while the baby girl toddled around. My boy was home with his papa, resting. A lazy bee buzzed around me in circles. A grey squirrel watched us from his perch on a tree. My friend and her children arrived and we went to play on the mudflats.

Rocks, shells, mud, the subtle sound of the water oozing from the earth. Ravens, crab shells, sun, the smell of the sea. And a big blue heron flying overhead, alighting on a near-ish tree.

Click here – Everyday Life Magic – to see pictures of the day. My friend, Rebecka, is a gifted photographer and she captured the joy of it all.

No great spiritual insights, just Being Present. For now, that’s enough.

Let’s talk about Practice

Posted on by myownashram

I was asked last week just what a practice of Place looks like. What does it consist of? Good question! The honest, straight up answer? I don’t know. You’ve heard me say this before. In fact, at the start of every quarter there’s been a recognition that I won’t know until I start Doing.

Most of what Place means to me could easily be summed up with: going outside and paying attention. I plan to do a lot more of that. To the casual observer this might not be particularly spiritual or religious, but being outside and paying attention is the cornerstone of every indigenous tradition I’ve ever read about, not to mention most shamanic traditions. Prayer, meditation, gratitude – and do it outside. Listen to your surroundings. Start to see yourself as part of the whole, not lord and master over.

I am reading books about the indigenous peoples of the Pacific North West. I have lots of plans: an outside altar, visiting cultural centers on the reservations in the area, going hiking, attending the farmers market (which opens next week) and finding local foods, taking my meditation and offerings practice outside in the mornings.

Also, I am going to explore Shinto, and attend the Shinto shrine that is 2.5 hours north of here.

But as for what my practice has looked like in the last week, I admit that it’s mostly been me sitting in my office, meditating, making kala, and getting back in touch with Kali. I’ve been laid out with a virus and was too exhausted to go outside on the two nice days we had. But the exhaustion will pass and the sun will come out, and when I build the little back yard altar I’ll be sure to post pictures of it!

Yesterday

Yesterday was a really good day. Not because it was Valentine’s Day (a non-holiday in my opinion), but because it started with a coffee date with an old friend I hadn’t seen in years and years. He was in town on business and we met up for a chat. (“Who’s John?” my husband asked. “You want a date on Valentine’s Day that badly, just ask!” Ha!)

After talking about our kids, our spouses, my recent move, the topic invariably turned to matters of religion. John’s a Christian, one who attends a mainline church on the liberal side of things. He told me he’s come to terms with the fact that there’s just a ton of stuff he doesn’t know, might never know, and that’s ok. He was honest about the fact that he doesn’t read my blog (“I suspect you have a lot of words about this topic.” He has no idea, does he?); this isn’t the topic he spends his precious non-working hours reading. I can respect that.

What the conversation highlighted to me is that I love talking about religion. I had to dial down my enthusiasm, scale back the two dollar words. I want to know what people think, and then talk about that. This particular conversation reminded me how much my thinking has shifted in the last few years. I do not view the world as a monotheist might; I definitely have a polytheistic view point. It makes discussing spiritual relativism interesting. I see little conflict; the monotheist sees quite a bit.

My baby (who is one today!) was fussing and tired and full of snot, so John and I cut our time together  short, right as we were in the thick of conversation. We’ll have other times to talk, now that I’m back in the great state of Washington for the long haul. I drove home buzzing. What do I do with this passion for religion? I could teach. I have a master’s degree. Perhaps the local community college would hire me or the nearby Evergreen State College. The thought of creating an entire class and teaching it scares me: I have many professor friends and I hear all about the struggles of teaching. And I don’t feel like I know enough! But I do.

I could get a PhD. I tried that. I may go back, but not to the same topic, not to the same type of program. I was really tired of engaging Christian theology so exclusively. I certainly won’t go back to a PhD program with wee children. I can barely keep up with this blog right now, due to sleep exhaustion.

I’ve even thought about looking at spiritual direction programs. Of course, starting another program seems silly right now. And I’m not sure I’m empathetic enough for this type of ‘counseling.’

Today, I’m enjoying the surge of enthusiasm I have for my chosen subject from the conversation with my friend. I’m fired up! This coincides with some dreams I’ve had recently and a strong pull to practice – not to practice Christianity, but to dive back into Feri, tarot, meditation, things I’ve put on the shelf for this quarter. I see them up there, shiny and inviting, familiar and full of surprises, and I want to stop reading theology, stop praying for mercy, stop rehashing my testimony (yes, I’m dragging my heels on part four).

This is good information. I’m grateful for this blog project. I feel like it is doing just what I’d hoped it would do: refine my own path, get me more comfortable with vulnerability and visibility, challenge my writing skills, and open up dialog with others. Thanks for joining me.