Tag Archives: holidays

A rambling post about spring

Posted on by myownashram

May Day and Beltain. One a socialist holiday and the other a neo-pagan cross-quarter holiday. Also, my mother’s birthday.

I love holidays and try to observe as many as I can as I am able. I enjoy the Celtic neo-pagan observances, as Ireland’s climate and seasons have been somewhat relevant to the places I’ve lived (except California, most of the Celtic and British holidays made no sense whatsoever there). While I am a huge fan of this holiday’s calendrical and thematic opposite, Samhain, Beltain rarely speaks to me. Is it because spring is often my down period? Getting into a festive mood, or even a sexy one (to honor the fertility of spring) has always been a challenge for me at this time of year. As I posted before, by June I’m usually in full swing. But now? I’m still recuperating, if that’s the right word.

I’m not sure why spring feels like recovery for me.

I grew up in Alaska, where the pull of light and dark is so much more extreme than anywhere else I’ve lived. At winter solstice, we had 18 hours 6 minutes of darkness, with very little twilight time. At summer solstice, we had 18 hours, 6 minutes of daylight, with twilights that lasted hours. I never suffered from seasonal affective disorder, though many people I knew struggled with the dark (and wet, grey) periods. I felt the light and dark in my bones. Spring and autumn were essentially non-existent seasons in SE Alaska. They lasted all of two weeks, maybe 3 or 4 weeks in a good year. I didn’t know that October was my favorite month, that it could be the best, rather than the absolute worst, month until I moved to Washington state for college. So while I’ve embraced autumn, spring still feels like the least familiar of the seasons to me. My springish hesitation doesn’t make any sense. Maybe there’s a different reason altogether.

So Beltain…. I’ve just never really felt it.

But here, in Olympia, spring is most definitely, gloriously here: lush, colorful, moist, changeable, verdant. Looking up from my computer and peering through the window into the back yard I see six different shades of green, the bright pink of some rhododendrons, a host of periwinkle bluebells, an unidentified plant with yellowy-orange shoots about to bloom, the gentle purple of a lilac tree (my favorite scent ever), and the hot pink buds of some decorative flower. It’s a riot out there.

One of the great things about Olympia is its Procession of the Species parade. It occurs every year at the end of April. I went this year and it was hands down the best parade I’ve ever seen. I was giddy. To me the entire weekend – a community wide arts walk, a luminary procession the night before (past the kids’ bedtimes, alas), and the parade itself – is a kind of Beltain celebration. [Since I remain without a camera, please click here to see some photos.]

Another spin on May Day is the socialist history of the day. Today is a big day of Occupy protests. I normally leave politics out of this blog, but I feel bringing up Occupy is relevant. Beltain is a tricky holiday. Its Pagan roots and neo-pagan flavors are about sex, fertility, the explosion of energy that spring brings, as well as the connection to and gratitude for a fertile earth that provides for us. It’s anarchic at its core – as all free and enthusiastic acts of fertility are. It is a perfect spiritual counterpart to the socialist and anarchic activities of the political May Day.

I doubt you will be surprised to learn that I am fully supportive of the Occupy Movement/s. Anarchy is advanced living, and I am all for a world where we have the inner strength of ethics that would allow us to pursue our own interests without infringing on the well-being of others.

What’s amusing to me is that Occupy started last fall, while I was living in rural Wales and today is my first opportunity to check out the Occupy movement in person…. yet my plans were foiled by my son, who scheduled his own hair appointment for today. During the arts walk my family was checking out some incredibly beautiful woodwork, hosted at one of the salons downtown. My almost, but not quite yet, 4-year-old son recognized that it was a salon and asked us if he could get his hair cut. We encouraged him to ask the owner of the salon, and ten minutes later he had an appointment card for today. He is so excited. So much for protesting and refusing to buy anything today.

How are you celebrating spring? Are you honoring May Day in some way?

I have decided that Olympia’s Procession of the Species weekend is my Beltain celebration. I’ll support the socialist May Day ideals by shopping locally (as usual). And after I post this I’ll take my cup of tea, go sit on my porch and let the wind blow around me. I’ll count all the colors I see and smell the air and just be grateful for abundance all around me.

Verdant blessings to all!

The Annunciation

Posted on by myownashram

Yesterday was the Feast of the Annunciation, one of my favorite Christian celebrations. I know, I’m not in my Christian quarter anymore, but Mary is a special lady and I wanted to mark this day. Seeing as how I didn’t go to church at all last quarter, I decided to take the kids to the nearby church. I thought maybe, just maybe, there would be some mention of the Holy Mother on her day. Of course there wasn’t.

Botticelli's Annunciation

Two blocks up a busy street from our house is Gloria Dei Lutheran Church. It’s a large (all the churches here seem to be compound sized) and rather attractive brick building. I like that the name is Latin. It’s an ELCA branch of Lutheranism which is the more liberal side of things, meaning LGBT people are welcome. The website said they had an organ and a choir, and I’m such a sucker for liturgy with music that I thought this could be a nice experience.

And it was! If I wanted to attend church, I would unreservedly attend here. Great people, beautiful sanctuary, nice organ and singing. They even had activity bags for the kids to keep them occupied. But I’m not Christian and I find Protestant liturgy so incredibly dull. My son was getting squirrelly during the sermon and I was hungry, so we left about half way through.

There was no mention of the Annunciation, no mention of Mary at all. And to think that Luther himself loved the Blessed Virgin! I should have gone to a Catholic church. My overriding thought was ‘Why do I do this to myself? Why do I keep coming back?’ Obviously I need a musical and liturgical outlet.

——

In addition to a tale of my failed attempt at church, I want to share something that I wrote six years. I was feeling more Christian then, but I think this piece still rings true for me even now. It’s a ‘homily’ I wrote about the Annunciation. I pretty much hate sermons and think that church liturgy is no place for them. But I offer you the following:

Luke 1:26-38 (NIV)

Tomorrow is the Annunciation, the day that the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and announced that she would be with child, that his name was to be Jesus, and he would be the Son of God. In many ways, this story can be seen as just another hokey tale made up by late-to-the-gospel-game Luke. Perhaps like Dan Brown, Luke was inspired by a previous story and needed to spice up the details so as to avoid possible plagiarism lawsuits.

It can also be seen as a patriarchal takeover of a woman’s body. In some feminist circles this is the most obvious way to interpret this story. A male god decides to reproduce, picks a young virgin, and impregnates her without her consent. Divine Rape, one might say. In this light the Annunciation is another example Christianity’s disdain for women. This viewpoint sees Mary’s unimportance as supported by the lack of any mention of her in the other gospels, with the relatively minor exceptions of the wedding at Cana and at the crucifixion proving the point.

I have come to see this story differently. I think this is one story in which early Christianity’s views on women (radical for their time) remain in Christian heritage. Christianity is not known for its feminist agenda, and while many great spiritual men have exhorted Christians to peace or reminded us of God’s preferential option for the poor, in its early days Christianity had a revolutionary new way of treating women. They were to be treated with all respect, not as property, which was common practice of the day. They were given religious freedoms unheard of in the pagan or Jewish traditions of the time. I think that much of this power was left out or deliberately stripped away as Christianity became codified in the early centuries. But there is no denying that hints remain in the New Testament; women are seen sharing in ministry: as deaconesses, as prophets, as apostles.

The story of the Annunciation is one of these passages that hint at us of early Christianity’s respect for women; it gives us a glimpse of how God interacts in the world, and it provides us with another lens with which to interpret Lent and our lead in to Easter.

While Luke never mentions her age, Mary would have been anywhere from 12 to 15 years of age. She was a virgin, betrothed to Joseph. In some unexpected moment she was found alone – not accompanied by a gaggle of girls or chaperoned by a male family member. In this moment God spoke to Mary through the angel. Like all smart women, she was suspicious of this unfamiliar character.

28The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” 29Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. 30But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. 31You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. 32He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, 33and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.”

This interaction is interesting for a couple of reasons. First, the audacity of God to spring this on such a young woman! Hey, guess what! You’re pregnant! Secondly is the amazing fact that God did not speak with her father, her brothers, or Joseph – all the men that in this age can lay claim to her. He went directly to Mary. She was an autonomous being, she was approached as a person of worth.

Mary, however, remained skeptical. 34″How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” Mary questioned God. She didn’t run away frightened, she didn’t instantaneously acquiesce. She questioned, and in return Gabriel answered her; she was not smote for unbelief or heresy.

35The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. 36Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. 37For nothing is impossible with God.”

At any point Mary could have run away, or even have said no. God was telling her what was to be, but she could have walked away. Instead, she looked at the mystery of God and accepted: 38″I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.”

This to me is an example of faith and strength, though not a flashy faith, nor the kind of strength that leaps tall buildings in a single bound. Rather it is an example of what is required in those quiet moments when we have to look at mystery head on and make a choice. Mary could not have fully understood what the consequences of this acceptance were going to be, but she chose anyway. No one made the choice for her. She didn’t run home to ask her parents’ permission, nor her best friends’ opinions. She made a choice for herself. God spoke, she questioned, she listened, she chose. She could have said no. Maybe God approached one or two other women before Mary and they said no. We have no idea, but we know about Mary because she said yes.

Because of this choosing new life sprouted where there shouldn’t have been life. A virgin pregnant is rationally absurd. But with God all things are possible! Through Mary’s choosing, in her yes to God, she allowed something new to grow within her. For this reason this story is a perfect holyday to celebrate in the midst of Lent. We are in the full flush of spring. The rains are nourishing the plants; the sun is restoring the earth and all that dwells in it. Celebrating Lent we are making way for the new growth in our lives, symbolized by Easter and the resurrection of Life. In the meantime, we may have to make a choice, or many choices. Do we say yes to this new growth, whatever it may be? Can we question the choices placed before us with the confidence that we are beloved by God and that there is no wrong answer? Mary’s example to us on this day is not one of meek obedience, simply cowed before an authoritarian god. Her example is one of faith and strength, present even in that which is considered weak. We are all called to meet God, to interact with God, and to participate in the life-giving activity of God.

Let us go forward in faith and embrace whatever new life is growing in us this season.
Amen.

He is not here, He is risen!

Posted on by myownashram

Or, thinking ahead to Easter.

I’m a little premature. Easter isn’t until April, and I’ll be knee deep in the mud of my Place quarter. I haven’t celebrated Easter in any meaningful way in a long time. I dislike pastels and cartoon bunnies and cheap chocolate, so the mainstream/commercial parts of this holiday don’t interest me at all. I don’t want to start that with my kids, either. There’s enough sugar and cartoon-y fun in our lives as it is.

But I do love the resurrection story. Even though we are not a Christian household and even though Jesus is not my god, I love the power of the resurrection story. In a world in which horrible things happen every day, and some days reading the news (heck, just reading the headlines) can overwhelm me, knowing that love wins, hope springs eternal, and one person fully aligned with the divine can move mountains is a powerful antidote to the weary, cynical and depressing elements in life. Honoring the Christian Easter story is something I’d like to incorporate into my family life.

Icon of the Resurrection

Last week, Star Foster over at Patheos Pagan Portal posted a great article on Mary Magdalene, Easter and eggs. She reminded of the Eastern Orthodox tradition of dying eggs red, the connection to Mary Magdalene (not just Reformed Harlot- an inaccurate conflation of texts, but Apostle to the Apostles!), and perhaps the connection with older practices.

St Mary Magdalene

When I was living in Wales there was a gorsedd park in town, a park with a ring of stones. It wasn’t ancient; it was put there by a modern Druid group I believe, in keeping with Welsh tradition, when the park was made. But I thought it was really cool anyway. Our first Easter there, my son was 22 months old, and we walked down on a bright sunny morning and ‘hid’ eggs in the park for him. It was a fun, joyous occasion. But we didn’t repeat it, instead going elsewhere in the following years.

This year we have an invitation to go with another family to their Easter dinner and egg hunt. I think I’ll make a batch of red eggs to add in to the mix. I can tell the story of Mary Magdalene, bold woman who bore the news of Christ’s resurrection, and we can celebrate that every year the sun returns and new life bursts forth, that every day the sun rises, that hope always springs up, and that it’s our job to carry that joy into the world. After all, we save ourselves and each other.

A New Year

Posted on by myownashram

I’m not much for New Year’s parties or resolutions. Now that I have kids I have even less desire to stay up late among raucous revellers. Going to bed early suits me just fine. I feel like the Gregorian new year is oddly placed anyway. I always feel like it should come either at the winter solstice or perhaps on the vernal equinox. January 1st feels like an arbitrary, but satisfying bookend to the winter holiday season, a point marking the arrival of the longest, coldest part of winter for me: January and early February. This year I felt like my new year began on December 28th, when I boarded a plane for the United States, leaving behind my adventure in the UK.

In my last post I mentioned that I didn’t have many Christmas traditions. I had forgotten about my one New Year’s tradition. Does it have to occur on New Year’s? No. This year it occurred in the post-Christmas time, with friends. I made my yearly collage – a collage of all the things I want more of in the year to come. It’s sort of like a visual resolution poster, only I focus on what I want to fill my year with, rather than on improvements or things I want to stop doing. I can’t remember how many years I’ve been doing it now, or even where I got the idea from. Maybe five or six years now? What never ceases to amaze me is how many of the things come to pass. I consider the poster a magical act. I hang it in my kitchen, for myself and all to see.

Here is last year’s poster:

Collage for 2011

I think this was the first year I moved in a more abstract direction. Things that did not come to pass: I didn’t make it to Iceland (that scenery picture) and I didn’t get much singing in my life (the musical notation). But I did get inspired (this blog). I made choices about my PhD program (I quit). I made some strides toward a healthy postpartum body (I lost the baby weight by eating well). My family added a baby and grew financially. I made some more friends in Lampeter. I had hoped for greater spiritual clarity and I got it. I had hoped for greater clarity around my academic work, and I got that too. I got what I hoped for, but not necessarily in the ways I expected. That’s one of the beauties of this practice.

Here is this year’s collage:

Collage for 2012

(I apologize for the blur. It was the best I could do with my camera phone.)

This year I got even more abstract, and I did not want any white space and I ended up spilling beyond the borders of the poster board. After doing it I realized that it sort of works from a ‘top down’ view. At the top we have the ‘cosmic woo’ and it filters down into a very material, earthy sense. The word I’ve been mulling over all winter is Primal. My family has been loosely following the trendy Paleo/primal diet – with tremendous results and enjoyment. I like the philosophy underneath these movements and want to apply it to more of my life. It fits in with the desire I have to get more in touch with my Fetch, to rely less on my Talky Self. It also applies to how I am viewing my own spiritual urges and needs.

In the collage there is a sort of triptych, three ladies: a forest nymph, a Dia de los Muertos face and a woman that reminds me of a priestess, pouring out her waters. I want to evoke these forms in my own life. I want to know the Land, the earth and that Wildness that comes from time spent in the forest. I want to grow in my understanding of the ‘darker’ side of life, in my understanding of my ancestors and the Mighty Dead. I want to grow in my abilities to minister. I’m not sure what that means! I am interested in what shape this takes when I look back in a year’s time.

In tarot cards, I see the Empress, Death and Temperance, with a bit of the High Priestess.

At the bottom, from left to right we have: salmon and marrow bones (for more primal, healthy eating, and salmon from Alaska), a healthy body, a baby (for family and deciding whether or not we are done with our family), some beautiful earrings (for beautiful things, and more wabi-sabi style), a picture of Sonya Tayeh, a choreographer whose work is fabulous and punk rock (dance is something I always put on my lists of ‘if I had unlimited time or money’ but I never get around to doing), a mostly covered picture of Debbie Harry (punk rock older lady, not that I want to sing punk rock, but I love the attitude. I do not rock. I sing Mozart), a picture of Wales (not that I want to go back but I want to bring what I learned there here, as well as tap into the spirit of that land), and a glacier (Alaska). The words say: joy, freedom, family, exhilaration, and tradition – all things I want more of in 2012.

I hope you have a rich, joyous year ahead. What do you want more of 2012?

**In a side note, I may be slow to post again as I am still in the moving in phase. Boxes are moved, but not unpacked, furniture is being acquired, etc. But have no fear: I will post again within a week!**

Beginning Thoughts from Cornwall

Posted on by myownashram

The 21st has come and gone. A new quarter begins.

I stood at the sink washing the dishes, looking out at the stump and bush from which the Horned One was staring at me. I apologized that I would be neglecting him. He continues to peek out at me. My instincts tell me to greet the land and offer milk and mince pies, but that just doesn’t….. seem Christian.

So I sit and stew about this conflict. My sensibilities have changed since last I practiced Christianity exclusively. I tried, I really tried, but my deepest religious and spiritual experiences were almost always of a different nature. I tried to fit my experiences into a Christian context and then I gave up. So do I try to mingle them together now? Do I ignore my sensibilities and what I’ve come to experience – my allies and gods? That seems rude and unwise. But Christianity is quite clear about several things – not having any other Gods besides Yahweh and Jesus being one of those things. (I know – they’re the same, but see? My sensibilities are different.)

Standing at the sink I decided to talk to Jesus. I was always told to do that, to talk to Jesus like a friend and develop a personal relationship with him. I never once experienced that, despite years of trying and seeking. On the 21st I said, again, that I’d like to meet Jesus and get to know him. We’ll see what happens this time around.

I’m still unsure of how I want to practice this quarter. I’ve decided to start praying the Lord’s prayer, the Hail Mary and two prayers I learned from my time worshipping in Eastern Orthodox churches, the Jesus prayer (Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner) and ‘Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy.’ This seems like a fair and honest beginning.

I don’t have any set Christmas traditions. No one thing that I’ve done every single year. In fact, I realized during our move that my son has spent each of his four Christmases in four different places, with different people: Australia with my family, two different houses in Wales, one with my in-laws and one just with us, and now Cornwall with good friends. Outside of the quite secular Christmas tree, presents, and the carols that I sing this time of year, I don’t have any set Thing That I Do at this time of year.

So it’s a delight to have my friends here share their tradition. M, is half-Jewish and was raised as a Baba Lover. She and her husband, C, follow Meher Baba. M honors her Jewish heritage by observing Hanukkah; she light candles each night at sundown. She honors the spiritual tradition of her heart by reciting three specific prayers given by Baba. The prayers are simple and beautiful.

The first one lists attributes of the One who is without attributes; is an apophatic prayer. I’m fond of apophatism. While there is some language I personally find problematic (‘Lord of Lords’) I happily join in the spirit of honoring the monotheistic Non-Dual.

The second prayer is one of repentance. Repentance – even using the word itself – is something that I’ve quite let go of. I certainly believe in accepting responsibility for my faults and the ways I’ve hurt others, and I work to get ‘right’ with myself and others. But the word ‘repentance’ is so entwined with language of worth/unworthy, right/wrong, your will/my will dualisms, that I struggle to remember the helpful aspects of repentance. This prayer also uses much of these ideas of repentance. But I dive into its meaning. These concepts of worthiness, repentance and sin are a non-negotiable part of Christianity so I accept them and pray them with a sincere heart. My I be forgiven every insincere word, malicious thought and wish, every false gesture, and all my hypocrisy. May I be worthy of union with You.

The third prayer is a short prayer to Baba to love him ‘more and more, and more and more, and yet more.’ Avatar Meher Baba kaji. I start my mornings with my private litany of Christian prayers and end my day with communal candles and Baba prayers. It’s peaceful and a gentle introduction to my monotheistic, avatar-based quarter.

I may not get back to this internet cafe before Christmas – or even before I leave for the US. I wish you all every happiness this holiday season.