Tag Archives: Star Goddess

Perhaps: a post about the gods

Posted on by myownashram

Most witches and pagans are polytheists – or agnostic to greater or lesser extents. I’ve yet to meet anyone who calls hirself a pagan that is monotheistic, at least not in the way that anyone of the Abrahamic faiths would recognize. Plenty of people I know have patron deities or are henotheistic (honoring one god to the exclusion of the rest, yet acknowledging that other gods do exist). For a while I thought I tipped into the polytheistic non-dual (a description I first heard from T Thorn Coyle). In my mind that was a radical interpretation of monotheism, but I may have trying too hard to keep with in a Christian framework. A few nights ago a passing two sentences in a Feri initiate’s private blog got me thinking: what if the gods aren’t Gods? What if the gods are just little g gods? A form of entities different to us, bigger than us, but subject to their own forces and to the Ultimate Ground of Being, much like we are?

Victor Anderson said ‘God is Self and Self is God and God is a person like myself.’ That always rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t make any sense in my theological understanding. I can talk endlessly about the potential of divinization of the human person. I believe, firmly and utterly, in the inherent goodness, fullness, and dignity of the core of humanity and all of creation. I believe that humanity carries the spark of the Divine within, the breath of Life is present in each breath we take. ‘God is Self and Self is God.’ I believe this was part of what Jesus Christ was trying to teach us; I think this is what Tantric Hinduism is getting at. We are not separate. The Holy Mother who is the Ground of Being, that from which all of creation came and to whom everything, everyone returns, is our Creator. We are part and parcel of the wider whole. Recognizing this – knowing it in all our parts – is the goal of enlightenment and is liberation.

I may know this key to enlightenment with my brainy bits, but I certainly haven’t grasped it in my entirety. I’m not sure I can and still parent small children. I’m not sure I could handle the depths of compassion that embracing the Entirety of All would require. Hell, I still pat myself on the back when I laugh at my 3-year-old accidentally dumping a half-gallon of milk all over the floor, rather than swear and yell and grumble. I’m not sure I’m ready to embrace the power that being in concert with the G/gods would take. Baby steps, right?

So if we are not separate from the Ultimate One, then what’s all this talk about gods – plural? What’s with polytheism?

When I read the Iliad in school we discussed ancient Greek culture and talked about the gods. This was filed away under Mythology and Primitive Belief and we assumed that no one really believed in them then, nor does anyone now. From the generic Judeo-Christian point of view, who would dare believe in gods that were just as petty and ridiculous as us ‘mere’ humans. If those Greek gods were real then I thought the stories were demeaning, indeed. But I think I get it now. The gods are like us, only they are not of our material. Whether you want to think that the gods exist in a different parallel universe (like in the movie Thor, where they say that their world is different enough from ours that we think them gods) or maybe you like the idea that maybe they exist at a different frequency that we just can’t readily perceive (like how certain insects see colors we don’t), the issue is one of perception and understanding, not one of reality.

Until I moved to Wales I felt pretty agnostic about the gods. Were they just symbols? Projections of our best selves? Archetypes? How could all these different families be simultaneously real? I mean, the Greeks, Norse, Yoruba, and Celtic pantheons seem to have some overlap, but also seem to be their own coherent systems. How could they all be true? I’ve since learned that the Gods are real. I liken this experience to learning to kiss (or have sex). When I was a pre-teen and had my first kiss, I remember thinking, ‘THIS is what the big deal is about??’ A few years later I kissed some one else and discovered, oh my, yes, that is exactly what the big deal is all about. The same thing happened with ritual and the gods. Sure, I’d been to ritual – I’d even had a great time and quite enjoyed myself! But then, I circled with two other witches in Wales, on a dark, damp Welsh night and oh my. I discovered that the Gods are real. The Arddu showed up, swept through the front door and front hall and into the living room. He looked around, smiled amusedly, and went on his way. That experience has changed me. It wasn’t intimate. He didn’t pass along any knowledge. There was no exchange of pleasantries. But it was a moment where we met and I realized that this witchcraft stuff is not some figment of an overactive imagination. It’s the doorway to a new way of interacting with the world. The gods are real.

If the gods are people like myself, then the another of the Anderson’s sayings is crucially important: never submit your life force to anyone or anything. This is not saying always be strong, always dominate. This is not some kind of Ayn Rand power trip. This is about maintaining one’s dignity and integrity, one’s sense of Self. There are as many ways to submit one’s life force as there are people and combinations of people. Choosing to serve others is not submission. Even submission in a BDSM context is not necessarily submission in this context. Feri admonishes us not to bow down before the gods. This may seem the height of arrogance to those from other religions. I admit, it felt that way to me too for a long time. We honor the gods, we do not worship. It’s like the technical hair-splitting the Roman Catholics do with the Virgin Mary – hyperdulia (excess veneration) vs latria (adoration, reserved for the Holy Trinity). We can split hairs here too. Am I only honoring the gods? Might there be some adoration in there too? I think the human heart is messy and doesn’t split these hairs as cleanly as our minds would have us do.

Many grimoires and wise, experienced witches and magicians caution us not to worship, follow or even get friendly with just any spiritual being that introduces itself. If the spirit world is made up of a variety of things that are just on the edges of our perception, and if those things are not God Hirself, and if they are like us in any respect at all, then it behooves us to get to know any entity before we offer our allegiance and loyalty – just as we do in ‘real life.’ We do not submit our life force to anything or anyone. We insist on equality, respect, mutual trust and mutual loyalty.

If the different pantheons are different families or nations, like we humans are, what does this mean for syncretism or for finding ‘our gods’ in a relatively godless world? I don’t accept that Yahweh is The God. After years of biblical studies, on devotional and academic levels, I think Yahweh is just a patriarch in his own divine family. In all the years I spent trying to be a Christian, Yahweh never spoke to me, nor did Jesus. I felt a deep connection with something Big, but it never, ever seemed to line up with Yahweh. I never heard much from Jesus either. Listening to that still, small voice has obviously led me away from the Church. Perhaps those guys just aren’t my clan. Coming from a Judeo-Christian culture, but a secular family, I don’t know who my clan is. I’m definitely seeking them out. I read, I think, I meditate, I ask. I think some gods are particular to place. Who will appear when I move to Olympia? Will Ana and Arddu follow me there? Ganesha has made himself right at home with us and he is not ‘of’ Wales. Can a person have a Hindu god as a patron ‘saint’ of the family and still look to Old World European gods?

Changing my thinking about the gods from Big G gods to familial, clan gods has opened up my mind to so many new possibilities. All of a sudden pantheons make much more sense to me. It even helps make sense of Christianity. The gods are people like ourselves: messy, inter-related, powerful, limited, individual, cruel and kind, evolving in this world, all held under the hand of That Which Is. I think ‘polytheistic non-dual’ might still be the best way to sum up my theology at this time. Who knows what I’ll be thinking in a year’s time. Stay tuned.

Ritual

Posted on by myownashram

There are many stereotypes of pagan ritual: witches gathering in a coven to call down the moon, or cast some dark spell involving eye of newt and a big ol’ cauldron; druids standing in groves chanting at trees; crazy bacchanalian rites involving too many candles, too much wine, and too little clothing, etc. All of those are about right, for some people. Friday night I did some ritual solitary-style. Here’s what went down. (Psst, it’s not very sensational.)

I decided to cast a circle and do something more formal than my daily devotions, so that I might deepen my relationship with the Gods and Entities and Ancestors. My family is undergoing some very stressful shifts right now (more on that when the dust has settled) and I wanted some assistance in sorting things out. I decided to consult the tarot for some perspective (notice I said perspective, not answers) and I wanted to do that in a sacred space, with the assistance of this spiritual tradition.

Many elements of ritual are the same, it seems, from one form of witchcraft or paganism or religion to another. We engage our senses and our wills; we create sacred space; liturgy has a beginning, middle and end; there’s offering of some kind; etc. Firstly, I cleaned my space – my trusty dining room. I put the babies to sleep. I gathered my materials: book, pen, tarot cards, offerings, candles, incense, lighter. I lit one candle, saying the Holy Mother prayer to kick everything off. Next, I prepared myself. I did a brief meditation, cleansed myself with salt water externally, washing hands, anointing forehead, crown, nape of neck. I cleansed internally by making kala (a rite specific to Feri, as far as I know). After tidying up those items, I lit the candle in front of the Ancestors, lit a couple more candles around the room for light, lit the incense and waved it in front of Ganesh first, then the rest of the altar.

Next came the difficult part – raising the energy to cast the circle. It wasn’t that raising the energy is hard, it’s that I’ve been so run down and sleep deprived lately. However, I managed to get focused and felt the energy rise. It wasn’t particularly strong, but it was steady, and that was good. I cast the circle as I’ve been taught. For the first time I felt pretty confident about it. I called in the Guardians, the Gods, the Ancestors and Descendents, and the Fey/Spirits of the Land. I offered my grandmother a hot cup of tea with a dash of milk, and for the Andersons I poured a glass of port. At the end of the ritual I got the sense that Cora would have liked a cup of tea, too. I opened a bottle of peated Welsh whiskey and poured a glass for the Fey. The room felt close, very full and crowded. I stated what was going on and why I’d called them all to house. I asked for their guidance and help in interpreting the cards. Then, I sat down to see what the cards had to say.

Of course, the baby woke up shortly into reading. My husband brought her down and she sat at the edge of the circle happy as could be, playing with her toys. After a couple of readings, with very clear answers, the baby started to fuss. Only then did I realize that two and a half hours had passed! I packed up the cards, picked up the baby, said my thank yous and goodbyes, and took down the circle. I blew out all of the candles and went to bed, feeling peaceful and alert.

The next morning I was very tired, like I had been at a really good dinner party slightly longer than was wise. Which is kind of what a good home ritual is like. It’s not flashy, it’s not complicated, but rather like a late night gathering with good friends.

Go if you must, stay if you will. Hail and farewell!

What is Feri?

Posted on by myownashram

Feri is……

Feri is a form of traditional witchcraft. That’s right – witchcraft. It’s an American-born, syncretic tradition, informed by Hoodoo, Voudoun, Huna, Wicca, Yoruba, Gwyddon (Welsh witchcraft), Appalachian folk tradition, and probably more that I just don’t know about. Victor Anderson saw himself as drawing on ancient commonalities, the current of the ‘small dark peoples of the earth.’

Feri is non-dual. There is no ultimate God and Goddess parity, except when there is. I cannot speak about the many ways the Gods are known, as I don’t know them (and I wouldn’t if I did!). But the core belief is of the Star Goddess as the foundation of all existence, who made love to herself, and brought forth the Twins. Duality exists in unity. Victor said, ‘All gods are Feri gods.’ There is an element of universality in this statement, but this doesn’t mean all gods are the same thing. We are all human, and therefore the same entity, except I am not you. From a species point of view, you and I are not that different and represent much of the same thing to other beings. But we’re not the same. Kinda like the Gods.

Feri is paradoxical.

Feri is ecstatic, sexual, and creative, but isn’t concerned with fertility. Cycles of the seasons of are important, but only in the sense that we connect to where we are; there is no monolithic mythic adherence to seasons and their festivals. The only central holidays that all Feri practice are Samhain, as honor of the Ancestors is an important part of the practice, and Beltaine. Ritual connects us with the spirit world. Energies of god and goddess, goddess and goddess, god and god, and god/dess and god/dess in any combination are embodied and expressed in our lives. Sexuality is a creative expressive of life force; creativity is a form of sexual energy springing from life force.

Feri is experiential. Theory is great. In fact, I have found Feri/Faery folk to be among some of the brightest, boldest, most impressive and well-educated people I’ve met, particularly in the pagan world – so a good theory, some new bit of lore or myth to chew on will suit just fine. However, if that lore or theory doesn’t move you, deepen your connection with gods or engage your practice – if you just don’t practice at all – well then, all that theory is useless.

Feri is mystical and practical. If you can’t use your craft where and when you need it, what good is it?

Feri is black magic and white magic. ‘White magic is poetry. Black magic is anything that works,’ according to Victor.

Feri is often called amoral. Most people hold different nuances for the words ethical and moral (even though they mean the same things), so I like to think of Feri as highly ethical, but devoid of external morality. It has virtues (we’ll get to those in a few posts), but very little is off-limits. Consent and integrity are the foundation of its ethic. ‘Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the law. Love under will.’ Feri and Aleister Crowley might agree upon this.

Feri is really quite simple, though not simplistic, and quite complex.

Feri is an initiatory tradition. There are teachers who teach via distance or over the internet. There are workshops and group rituals that are based on Feri concepts and tools. These are a great beginning. But the current is only passed in person.There are no levels, there is only one initiation.

Feri is a priesthood; ideally there is no laity. All Feri initiates are shaman priest/esses. There is no hierarchy.

Feri is powerful and awesome.

New quarter, new altar

Posted on by myownashram

Simple Feri altar

This quarter’s altar is really a three-in-one. I’m limited for altar space around here. While this doesn’t look cluttered, there’s a lot going on. From left to right:

First, there’s my Israeli stoneware cup, or chalice, which I find I don’t really use very much. The blue votive holder is back. It’s really my Holy Mother candle votive. It was made by a friend as a going away present when we moved from the Bay Area. Flanking it are two peacock feathers (hard to see against the black heater top). Peacocks are sacred Feri symbols. Behind the votive is a carved, Black Mother figurine.

In the middle is the wooden star. A red candle with twin dragons carved around it. Three horse chestnuts, also known as conckers, decorate the altar as symbols of autumn They are everywhere here. I put them on a sign of the season and as an offering. The incense holder is here, also for offerings. I have a beautiful blue glass sugar bowl that I’ve turned into a censer that I use for cone incense and for censing my house. But it’s too big to keep out.

Beginning the right hand side, which is the Ancestor portion of my altar, is a beautiful blue ceramic pitcher. In it I place libations of water. Right now it’s got water in it from St Non’s Well in Pembrokeshire, a very potent place. There is the framed picture of my namesake, my late maternal grandmother. There are also pictures of my (living) mother as an infant. It may not be wise to have pictures of the living on an ancestor altar, but I feel it’s appropriate in this case; these pictures want to go together. There is my black glass votive I light for the Ancestors in the evening. Tucked in the back and hard to see is a little picture of Victor and Cora Anderson, the ‘founders’ of Feri. Ancestors are not just those to whom you are blood related. I believe it is important to honor Victor and Cora, not just for their legacy, but also in hopes that they might bless the work I do within the Feri tradition.

Ganesha's new spot

As I was dismantling the last altar Ganesh made it abundantly clear to me that he did not want to be put away, or even moved upstairs where the other murtis are being kept. Oh no.  So he remains in the dining room, on top of the freezer, which also functions as the storage portion of my desk. He gets greeted every morning and I wave the incense at him when I light it.

This all feels cozy and just right! Onward!

Navratri, as seen through Feri eyes

Posted on by myownashram

Navratri is a major Hindu celebration of the Shakti, or feminine, aspect of the Divine, celebrated over nine nights. I don’t understand Hindu astrology or calendar systems, but I’m sure it is no coincidence that it occurs close to the autumnal equinox and starts at the dark of the moon. Navratri celebrates Durga, who I see as the Dark Mother. The first three nights celebrate her fierce qualities, and focus on purification. The second three nights focus on her aspect as Lakshmi, goddess of abundance, wealth, and beauty. These are not merely physical qualities, though there’s nothing wrong with wanting more beauty or wealth, because these things relate to the spiritual nature as well. The last three nights concentrate on Saraswati, goddess of wisdom. Ultimately this is a form of abundance and is the goal of all good things.

You might be wondering why I’m talking about a Hindu festival. Isn’t this quarter about Feri? As you’ll find, Feri is very fluid. I think this is an auspicious hinge for my quarters. How could I possibly ignore such a perfect and beautiful festival, one that celebrates the Holy Mother? Let’s look at Navratri from more of a Feri perspective. I hope my Hindu readers will indulge me.

Without delving into the Feri cosmogony or pantheon (I’ll save that for another post) I’ll share with you a little bit about the Star Goddess, the ‘source deity’, as I see Her. Like Durga in many traditions, the Star Goddess is the Holy Mother, the source of all other divine expressions. Like the Hindu tradition, this doesn’t negate the personal integrity of other gods, but rather acknowledges the common Source of all things. She is the Beginning, the Ground of Being in whom we live, move, and have our being; from her all things emerge, and unto her all things return – as the prayer goes.*

She is black – like the night, like darkness, like our fears, the ultimate Black Heart of Innocence, the totality of colors and all things. Black is not a frightening nor evil color. It’s intensity and wholeness. Pure, unsullied, virgin. Many people equate these things with white, but I prefer black – because it’s all those ‘good’ things, without forgetting the ‘bad’ or ‘scary’ things that are part of us or our world as well.

If one wanted to look at the goddess in Navratri from a more Wiccan point of view, we can see aspects of the triple goddess. Durga, or Kali, can be seen as the crone figure, associating death with old age and darkness (sometimes known as Ana in the Feri tradition). Laskhmi might be the maiden figure, associated with youth and beauty and the more ‘frivolous’ things (possibly connected to Nimue in Feri). Saraswati in her mature, fullness of authority, might be linked to the mother figure (or Mari in Feri). I’m not a big fan of linking goddesses to phases of life or to fertility as these don’t necessarily reflect the universality of experience. I’m not saying they can’t, but it doesn’t speak deeply to me. All of these concepts, and thus goddesses, are ageless and independent of anything ‘fertile.’ And yet, they have much to teach us.

During Navratri all pujas are performed by women, since this festival is the pinnacle of Shakti worship. While the Star Goddess is termed Goddess and refered to as She and Her, the mystic in us knows that She is neither male nor female – she both, and then some! Shakti is the creative energy  of life force. She is the face we put on something so big, so vast, that we can scarcely comprehend it. In our day and age focusing this energy on the female side of things can be a liberating and restorative practice, particularly for those who have felt overwhelmed by the dominant masculinity of the mainstream world. Men and women look to the Holy Mother, perhaps not because She is a she, but because the change in language can snap us out of old ways of thinking and get us to see the Divine in a fresh way. Our hearts might be slightly more open. I know it was for me.

So how am I observing this festival now that I’m not practicing as a Hindu? I wake up and wash and meditate. I say good morning to Ganesh (he did NOT want to be put away). I light a candle honoring Durga. I say the Holy Mother prayer and I ask Kali to purify me, to slay the fears that limit me. I’ll do the same in the evening. In two days time I’ll switch to thinking about Lakshmi, praying for good things and offering her my gratitude for all I have been given. Prayer and offerings. Simple but joyful.

Jai Ma!

and

Blessed be!

 

*There’s more to the prayer. This first part might be familiar to many people, from many traditions. I learned it from T. Thorn Coyle.